So I attended the You Lost Me LIVE one-day conference led by David Kinnaman and Mark Batterson with some regional Chi Alpha staff and it was a great day. I blogged my notes but be warned, there is a lot o’ content.

Engaging Culture

“The days are done when it’s okay to get an A in biblical exegesis and an F in cultural exegesis.” – Mark Batterson

This is one of those things that I wish I thought of so that I could’ve tweeted it. It is spot on. And I love the term, “cultural exegesis” because it indicates that we must be serious and studious when it comes to how we handle culture.

This means two things. First, we cannot ignore culture. I feel that in te 90s, we all did this. Second, we cannot simply emulate culture and throw in a little Jesus. This is an easy but harmful temptation. And perhaps I have been guilty of this…

The Importance of Prayer

“Prayer is the difference between you fighting for God and God fighting for you.” – Mark Batterson

Both at the conference and on Sundays, Pastor Mark has been talking about prayer and he recently confessed that he had failed as a leader in the past 15 years because he didn’t lead NCC in this as much as he should have in a corporate setting. (He blogged about that here)

Not only do I love his authenticity but this quote says it all. I have all too often been content and honing my skills, using them and then saying, that was all you Jesus. But now, I am imagining how God could use me if I let him fight for me.

Christine Caine (in a recent message at NCC) said something that I will never forget. It was something to the effect that Moses, in his own strength, saved one but with God’s help, he freed an entire generation.

The Problem of Inoculation

“We’ve given them enough Jesus to be bored, but not to be transformed.” – David Kinnaman

Wow. What a statement. And I think that it is so true. And even more, he went on to postulate that he believes that the way we have approached church, has actually caused this.

When I reflect on this, I am sobered by our call as followers of Jesus. The way we lead can shape people’s idea of God and faith. We have to balance this idea of inviting people that are seeking truth and then, challenging people to live in discipleship which is often stretching, difficult and painful.

What About You?

If you attended the conference, I am curious as to what stuck with you. As you have processed, what have been your biggest takeaways? Drop a comment and let me know!

I am also giving away a hardcover edition of the book You Lost Me and two issues of Bittersweet*zine. How do you win? Simply share this post via Twitter or Facebook and drop a comment with why you want to win! It’s that simple. I will pick a winner on Thursday, February 2nd at 4:00PM (EST).

INTRODUCTION

by Mark Batterson // @markbatterson

“The days are done when it’s okay to get an A in biblical exegesis and an F in cultural exegesis.”
“My greatest failure has been that I have failed to lead our church in prayer corporately…”
“It’s not about relevance, it’s about incarnation.”
“I’m done brainstorming, it’s about prayer-storming.”
Arthur Mckenzie Story: battering ram vs. camping outside the walled city
“I’d rather have 1 God idea than 1,000 good ideas.”
“Prayer is the difference between you working for God and God works for you.”
“Pray like it depends on God and work like it depends on you. Game over.”

CULTURE: WHERE WE ARE 

by David Kinnaman // @davidkinnaman

1. It’s Complicated – David Kinnaman
“It is an era of participation, an era of complexity.”
“This next generation looks at the Church and they don’t see answers to the complex issues.”

young Christians view of Church
culture, overprotective
sex, repressive
science, anti-science
peers, exclusive
mind, doubtless
church, shallow
lifestyle, rigid

“Growing up, I had to eat angel eggs not deviled eggs. ” – Katy Perry
“We aren’t only trying to invent a new form of Christianity…”
“I’m hopeful about this generation but I am not necessarily optimistic.”
Millstone Passage
“What if the consequences of the way we have been doing our work, has contributed to what we see.”

59% Ever dropped out of church after attending regularly
38% Went through a period of significant doubting their faith
32% Went through a period of rejecting their parent’s faith

“Split-soul mentality: how someone is living in at church and how they are living online.”
“I think that Jesus is getting lost in the data-stream.”
“This is a culture of distraction.”
“This generation doesn’t just need an experience of spirituality but an experience with Jesus.”
“We’ve given them enough Jesus to be bored, but not to be transformed.”

one: cultural Christianity or superficial Christianity
- 83% of Americans identify as Christians
- 69% of Americans say they have made a personal commitment to Christ that still matters to them

two: churchgoing actually matters
- church fluency: stable family, donate money, volunteer your time

three: our kids
- UnChristian was about outsiders, this research is about our families
- lack of resources: how do we help or parent our 20somethings.

four: shared leadership
- Numbers 8:24-26 NLT | youth group bouncers
- “There are challenges with generational transitions.”
- “We need this next generation more than they need us.”

2. We’re Different
- “Non-Christian in the Mosaic generation are much more liberal than their boomer parents.”
- “There is a large gap between our peers.

Access
- 1960s: three channels on TV | Today: multi-dimensional, niche markets, social media, tons of channels, Netflix, Google, etc.
- Today’s teenagers consume over ten hours of media per day.
- “Access: changes the way we think about the world (interactive, empowered)”

Authority, Skepticism of
- Dick Meyer Chart, Confidence in Leaders: 66 to 07
- religion: 41% to 27%
- 2 of 3 of the Mosaics openly say that the Bible is sacred literature
- “Pop culture is this next generation’s religion.”
- “Playing a video clip in service is just not enough for cultural exegesis.”
- In a poll, a good number young Christians said that the most famous Christian is Angelina Jolie.”
- The future is boots on the ground, local churches not the big name pastors.
- “Young Christians don’t see digital piracy as a moral issue.”

Alienation
- % of people who have launched: 77%/65% in the 1960s; 46%/31% in 2000
- “Most churches aren’t good at working with non-conventional young adults.”
- young urbanites, digitally connected tribes is the new normal
- % of live births to unwed mothers: 5% in 1960; 41% today

Our Response…
- Vocation
- Authority (Not just responding to strengths finder, but to God’s Revelation)
- Renewed Commitment to Relationships

(CoDMW3 outgrossed Harry Potter 8, biggest movie of last year, in one day)

3. You Lost Me
- There are three journeys that people take…

Nomads: Lost to Church, 4 in 10 (Examples: Katy Perry and Justin Bieber)
Prodigals: Lost to Faith, 1 in 10 (Examples: David Bazaan)

“We have to understand the way people leave, so we can help them stay.”

Exiles: Lost between culture and church, 2 in 10 (or higher)
- “Does my faith match where I am called to live?”
- Apologetics: how do we live faithfully in a complex culture

“The best biblical metaphor for complexity of our times…exiles in Babylon.”
Daniel, Esther: they fit vocation, revelation and relationship

Exiles are important in cultural changes…prodigals and nomads are everywhere.

CHURCH: WHERE WE GO

by David Kinnaman // @davidkinnaman

1. Is This It?
- review: “negative perceptions of the church slide/chart”
- “This generation is pushing the Church to be healthy in so many ways although they may not come to the right conclusions.”

Two Narratives about Sexuality
Traditionalist
- Sex is about the rules
- Don’t talk about sexuality
- End: procreation (women: walking wombs)

Individualist
- Sex is about me
- Express yourself, enjoy it
- End: gratification (women: objectified)

Note: some churches have responds to this in a way that is compatible with the world’s view which he thinks is negative

Relational
- Sex is about us
- Humble, conscious of others
- End: interdependence

“We need the next generation to help us – it’s the idea of reverse mentoring.”
“Your best sermon on sex is just a talk.”
“Reverse mentoring: younger Christians can help point the church toward new practices and approaches to faithfulness.”

Lessons from the Past 15 Years

by Mark Batterson // @markbatterson

- “My philosophy of ministry in Matthew 10, I call it the original commission.”
- “Everything is an experiment. If the kingdom of God had departments, we would want to work in research and development.”
- “This buys you a lot of latitude as a leader. You have the latitude to fail and try new things.”
- “Don’t tell me there isn’t a barren fig tree in your church. We kill dead things. Saying yes to one thing is saying no to another.”
- “Authenticity is authority…your authenticity lends to your authority.”
- “Nothing in the first five years of NCC was noteworthy in terms of growth.” Share struggles instead of victories.
- “People will only be authentic to the level of leadership.” ***
- 2 Chronicles 7:14
- “Your greatest opportunity as a parent is when you have to apologize after messing up. How will they know how to forgive without modeling?”
- “I think excellence honors God.”
- “With low expectations about the church, anything above clip art means you are a creative church.”
- “1% of change can make 99% difference.”
- Story of Ted’s Bulletin and homemade pop tarts
- “Let’s work on the majors.”
- “Let’s go to seminary, but make sure we are spirit-filled.”
- “I’ve never met anyone who has a defense mechanism to the genuine love of God.”
- “Let’s not just criticize by criticizing, let’s do it by creating.”
- “The screen is post-modern stained glass.”

CHURCH: WHERE WE GO

by David Kinnaman // @davidkinnaman

2. What’s My Calling?

- 52% of young Christians desire to be in science related industries
- <1% of youth leaders said they spoke about any issues of science, technology in the last year
- “How can we be so silent on these issues that are so front and center?”
- see page 119

Vocational Guidance?
- 11% received helpful input from a church leader about my education
- 3% received a college scholarship from the church
- 16% learned how the Bible applies to my field or interest area
“Any wonder why Christianity is struggling with young, science-minded and creative types?”

- “There is a huge opportunity to recast a vision of vocation…reconnecting faith and work, and faithfulness in the complexity of life.”
- “We need a richer theology of vocation.”
- Jeremiah 29:4-7

3. What’s Our Future?

Measure success broadly
- attendance > attitudes
- conversion > apprenticeship
- involvement > calling
- adult helpers > helpers
- beliefs > love for Scripture

- “We need to measure things that matter for lives of depth.”
- Original idea: church exists to minster to new generation
- New idea: church is a partnership of generations working for God’s purposes
- “Of all the places that shouldn’t be talking about target markets, it’s the Church.”
- Luke 14: 99 and 1

As many of you know, Hannah and I have been fundraising to join students on a spring break missions trip to Mexico. I have actually never been to Mexico and we had never been on a mission trip together. I was looking forward to brushing up on my Spanish and anytime I can eat carnitas and it counts as part of ministry, count me in! As we all got back on campus, we began to discuss the trip and the details.

Unfortunately, we ran into some obstacles. We didn’t have as many students sign-up as we had expected. Our team’s skill set didn’t match the projects available. There were more staff going than there were students.

As a team, we decided that it would be best to join up with other the spring break missions trip which is going to NYC to serve with the Dream Center. It was clear that we could make a bigger impact in one location than in two and that our resources would go a lot further. So, we are not going to Mexico. And that’s okay. Why? It’s less about the plan and more about the mission.  The plan was going to Mexico. But the mission is to serve, love and minister to people.

I will be the first to admit that I struggle when plans change. I like stability and I tend to become uncomfortable when an audible is called. As I think back over last semester and even my time at Family Life Church, the opportunity to choose to be flexible occurs often. And when I shy away from that, I am admitting something: I want to be in control. Planning is not the problem. The problem is when we serve the plan instead of allowing our plans to serve the mission. The mission is unchanging, but the way we go about it within a certain context of circumstances, may require us to change.

The thing is, if you and I refuse to be flexible, then we can miss out. I think about Philip and his encounter with the Ethiopian eunuch. It wasn’t an appointment in Philip’s iCal. It was a seemingly spare-of-the-moment opportunity presented by an angel. What if he hadn’t listened? What if he hadn’t changed his plans that day?

When we are inflexible, we make this thing about us. And so not only do we miss out, others may as well.

Support Raising Update

One of the positive side effects of this change, is that the amount of money we need to raise has drastically decreased. Originally, we had to $2,600 but now we only need to raise $1,400.  Due to the generous support of friends and family alike, we have raised $1,000 and only need $400. Thank you!  If you are interested in giving, you can do so online.

After months of prayer and fasting at the end of 2010 and in the beginning of 2011, we felt that God was asking us to take a step of faith and to leave our jobs at Family Life Church so that we could minister to college students in Washington, DC. We love the people at the church and the staff team, so it was a challenge. Yet, as we told those around us of the transition – we found nothing but supportive people who offered their prayers and their resources to make this thing a reality. In those moments, we were humbled and honored to feel the love of so many. And it was in that time of transition, that as a couple, we really learned how to hear God’s will and discern his direction. I never want to forget that lesson. It wasn’t always easy but the hours we spent in prayer and fasting, were well worth it. I pray that this year, we continue to keep our hearts and minds open to how God would like to use us. It is all to easy to create a plan for ourselves and then ask God to bless it. Since I love plans, that is a big temptation for me.

Well, Hannah went to Iraq, Baghdad for 4+ months with the American Red Cross. That was an incredible and difficult experience for us a married couple, but I know we are better for it. Long-distance marriage, why isn’t everyone doing it? In so many areas, I had taken Hannah for granted but let me tell you, being a bachelor again quickly pointed out my flaws! And through Google Chat, email and Skype, we probably talked more while she was away than a typical week before she left. It taught me that meaningful conversation doesn’t just happen, it’s intentional. 

Around the same time,  I became a full-time Campus Missionary in Training (CMIT) with Chi Alpha. So I started support raising and after transitioning out of my church staff role, I moved home to Texas to spend time with my family for the summer while continuing to raise my budget. Being a missionary (in a recession, nonetheless) and raising a budget for the first time, is perhaps, the most challenging faith issue I have ever experienced in my life. I am still amazed, to this day, about the incredible team of financial supporters that God has raised up to partner with us. I think that before this, I knew what faith was but during and after, I not only had knowledge but I had a tangible experience. There were days when all I got were “No’s” and I had no idea how to make it work – and that was where I had to ask God to intervene, to work on my behalf. And guess what, it’s way better that way. I have always struggled with relying on myself but this season, helped me learn that our efforts fall short and don’t produce significance.

In this moving and transition process, we sold 99% of everything we owned. From furniture to books to our pets (okay, we gave them away) – we keep the essentials. Okay, I accidentally only kept 1 plate, so I guess I also got rid of essentials, too! Well, when Hannah returned, we went on a second honeymoon and then took an epic road trip to say goodbye to family and friends. Who knew the Vibe could tow 1500 pounds on a 1,500 mile road trip? 

The crazy thing is, all of this only brings us to August!  We moved into a new place, I got settled in at American University working as a CMIT with Chi Alpha, Hannah began working at a bookstore, we started attending a new church that we love (@NCC), we made some new friends, we have gotten used to using public transportation for the first time in our lives and we are still trying to resist the crazy parking fees. All in all, I have enjoyed re-connecting with Hannah (reading dates, TV marathons, Alabama football games) and being back in the world of Chi Alpha. I am so thankful for the ups and downs, the good and the bad, the neat and messy, of 2011 – it has been a wild ride but I am glad for it (although, I tend to like being in control and avoid literal and metaphorical roller coasters).

Tell me about your 2011. Best part, worst part. Biggest takeaways…

One thing that Hannah and I both love about Chi Alpha is that global missions is a part of the core DNA of this ministry. By encouraging students to pray, give and go – they become equipped to reach beyond their local college campus and around the world.

So, we are asking you to consider giving a special gift that would go towards our mission trips. The combined cost for both of us is $2,600 and one of the most expensive parts of the trip is the airline tickets, which will need to be purchased in the next several weeks. We decided to put all the money we received from family and supporters for Christmas towards our missions trips but we still need to raise $2,120. Will you partner with us?

All donations are tax-deductible and you can give online, which will allow your donation to be processed quickly so that you will receive credit for this tax year. If you would rather write a check, follow the instructions on our support page and indicate that it is for our mission trip (please note that this method may not get your deduction processed before the deadline for year-end donations).