I honestly found myself asking that question. And as you can tell by the nifty graphic, I'm currently blogging through things and people that I'me grateful for. You can read more about it if you'd like.
I've been having back pain, sciatica and lots of fatigue for the past six months. I've tried different medications, physical therapy, heat pads, ice packs, better posture, seat cushions, and even a standing desk at work. And I haven't found the relief that I'm looking for. At times, it's very discouraging, especially when I think about the fact that what I'm dealing with may not go away. But as I emailed family, friends and supporters about my recent follow-up appointment with Dr. Kalantar (a spinal surgeon at GUH) - I became hopeful, dare I say excited, that there was another option that had been successful for people dealing with the same issues I have.
That option is back surgery. And for those wondering, yes, I am 25 years old.
It feels strange saying that I'm excited and optimistic about it, but I've come to realize that's how I actually feel. I'm not in one of those moods (which are always temporal) in which I try to act like everything is either great or an opportunity for greatness. As I try to grapple with pain, health issues, etc. - I am grateful for the care that I'm getting.
From the ability to try different medications to having the resources (and insurance) that allows me to go physical therapy twice a week - I am realizing that even though I could walk away from this situation bitter or disillusioned, I'm truly finding out how blessed we are and how many people care about us.
So, I think I'm grateful for back surgery. I hope it works and that I no longer deal with numb limbs, extreme pain while sitting and constant fatigue.
But even if it doesn't turn out like I hope, I'd like to think that I would still recognize that life isn't just what happens to me but what I do with those things.
-------- UPDATED (11/17/13) --------
My surgery (a microlaser discectomy) is scheduled for Tuesday, November 26 at 7:30am at Georgetown University Hospital.