I often make, what I now see as, the wrong sacrifice.
I said this to a friend over lunch today. We were talking about things that we were processing, dealing with and even struggling with in this thing called life. Like most of these lunches, I talked about my schedule, prioritizing the important things and getting out of the vicious cycle of busyness. But today, it went a little differently. I realized, over the past day or so, that I am pretty good at finding how to schedule better or do things more efficiently. Yet, I had been working with a false assumption. They always get you! I had assumed something that sounds funny being written across a page or spoken aloud while eating macaroni and cheese. I can do it all if I just...I know, it's pretty obvious in retrospect. Yet, that doesn't diminish the validity of my newfound revelation.
What now? I'm not sure. But I think it involves clarity, saying no and focusing on what I want to be remembered for. Or better yet, what I was created for.
The wrong sacrifice comes into play right about here. Like you, when I'm busy or living without margin, I tend to sacrifice time for thinking, dreaming and learning. I thought that doing so was noble, albeit not ideal. However, I realized today that if I am not learning on a constant basis, I cannot lead in a dynamic way. In effect, I was trying to give people water without ever personally going to the source (or drinking any for myself). I want to live an abundant and full life, but I am often my biggest obstacle.