I’m sick. But maybe it’s a good thing.

If you didn’t know, I have been in bed for several days with a nasty cold. I’ve been surrounded by NyQuil, my trusty iPad, Netflix, cough drops, boxes of tissues and countless mugs of tea – but perhaps this is just what I needed.

It was kind of strange actually, my Christmas vacation started on Saturday and guess what day I got a cold, yep, Saturday. Hannah thinks that I was going, and going, and going and then, my body just couldn’t take it anymore. I think she is right (but don’t tell her that, it may go to her head). And come to think of it, I was sick in bed for about a week last year right around this time.

Anyways, I tend to struggle with the idea of rest. I mean, I understand the importance of it on a physical level and even what the Bible says about it. Yet, I tend to have trouble resting for more than a day or two. I simply want to be doing something or working on a project. But being sick has forced me to simply be. I don’t know when it started, but for as long as I can remember, I  feel guilty when I spend hours watching TV or reading the latest non-fiction that Hannah has nagged (er, asked) me to read. Basically, I feel bad when I am not being productive. And that is not good. On one hand, it’s good that I like to work and get stuff done, but on the other hand, life is more than simply doing. The story of the Gospels is about becoming – in fact, Jesus spent much of his time fighting the idea that we should do stuff so that we are in right standing with him. That instead, we should become like Him through transformation. If I were one of the 12 disciples, I think I would’ve had a hard time hanging out with Jesus, eating some grub. I would’ve wanted to be doing something: another miracle, another sermon with the multitudes, another visit to the Tabernacle. You get the idea, right?

As I read this blog post, I just feel so silly.

What a minor struggle to have!

You know you are blessed to have a job and have vacation time.

You could be working on this project or getting ahead on that one.

These are the things my mind sputters off but regardless, this is my struggle.

I am realizing that I am not just that the sum of my creations. I am beginning to enjoy doing nothing. Well, I am going to get back to watching White Collar on Netflix. As I think about it, this is just one more chapter in trying to produce less and experience more.